She extended her other arm, and I threw myself into her embrace, sobbing and promising to better myself while she stroked my hair and tried to soothe me. “I’ll have to punish you harshly, though,” she whispered into my ear. I nodded into her shoulder, sniffling and trying to stop my tears. “I know.” And then a thought struck me, one quite terrifying and exciting. “I’ve failed you here on the stage, so you should punish me here.” She grabbed my shoulders and held me at arms’ length, looking at me with disbelief. “You don’t know what you are asking. You’re already making quite the spectacle, but if I would punish you here, it would be far worse than anything you would normally receive. The crowd would want a real show, after Bao’s performance.” “I know.” I took a deep breath. “But I can do it. For you.” We stared into each other’s eyes for a long time. She tried to look for any insecurities on my part, for any sign that I might be biting off more than I could chew. I just looked back. I think he was genuinely sorry that he would be losing me, although he did wish us both the best of luck. He said I've been doing an outstanding job. Dear, I've been lucky to have him as my manager for the past two years; I think he really cares about the people working with him." Yes, I can see that. I noticed that, in the Reaper meetings last spring, he was always open to the others in the meeting, and also a very considerate person. I think, in this regard, we've both been lucky so far in our careers. Murray is certainly a bureaucrat, and also very politically motivated, but he's always been considerate and helpful."I continued, "Sandy, love, do you still think you could come down for the first weekend in November?" Try and keep me away, dearest love!"We talked a bit longer, and I told her that I would call her in a few days.SANDY -- Monday, October 16, 1961Of course, I knew that Steve would call as soon as he got back home, but it was still good to hear his voice on the phone. I.
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